Jasmine.

Sweet white blooms upon a backdrop of forest green. Heavily entrancing scent pulling you into the warmth of spring. Jasmine is my marker of spring.

Today I went to the botanical gardens for the first time with my mom, and I was amazed at the multitude of flora bounding from every corner of the garden. But above it all, the smell of jasmine was apparent. The cool breeze and gentle sunlight are mere reminders of the spring I have become accustomed to at home.

I need the smell of jasmine.

It reminds me of the spring my sister and I wrecked our barbie car on a covered fence. It reminds me of my elegant communion dress. It reminds me of long walks talking with my mother. It reminds me of home.

I hope there is jasmine in Gainesville.

(: Kim.

Youth.

Well duh, Kim. Being young is the best thing in the world. Growing older makes one fonder of youth, of possibility and promise. I love being with my friends, reckless and silly, dancing in the middle of Channelside, hiding from creepy old men, and sharing Thai food. But youth is so fleeting that reflecting upon it makes me feel I am already mature.

I am young.

I am young enough to spend a night singing along to a ukulele in the middle of a restaurant. I am young enough to run around carefree. I am young enough for my elders to scornfully regard my decisions. I am young enough.

Enough for me.

I love my friends who feel young because I feel that whenever we are together in the months, years or decades to come, we will be young. Maybe not running around in delirium or shoving delicious food into our faces by the plateful, but young.

Young enough.

(: Kim.

Comfort.

I live in a world of comfort. No war upon my doorstep, no hunger in my belly (well, no real hunger. just teenage gluttony), and no tribulations to endure. I have a safe place to sleep, a nurturing place to learn and a hug ever waiting for my embrace.

Tonight, after seeing The Hunger Games, I bawled my eyes out at the murderous inhumanity of savage survival. Hormonal, yes. Tired, incredibly. But the images were still sad and powerfully moving.

And I had arms embracing me, gently rocking me back to my pillow-y world of comfort. A warm hand to wipe away my tears and transform the horror and despair into resolution. I want everyone to experience love and comfort. There should be an inalienable right to safety. People should be reminded of how comfortable they are. Embrace it, because the odds are ever in your favor.

(: Kim.

Dancing.

Every couple does something cliched and awfully nauseating. Signs to pick each other up, “no! you hang up first”s, or kissing in the rain.

TJ and I just dance.

After school today, I stayed in the parking lot and talked for a while waiting for him to finish practice. When he came out, he gave me a smile so bright it made me forget everything but the hot asphalt and his cool shadow. He grabbed me hand, twirled me around and started to dance in the middle of the driving lane.

I love dancing with him, not because we’re talented or because there’s music around, but because he makes me forget everything in the world and just have fun. I could disco like a fool in front of a whole party, or poorly ballroom dance in the parking lot. People can think what they will, but there’s only one thing on my mind.

I’m so grateful he’ll dance with me.

(: Kim.

Work.

I’m such a sadist. I have no senioritus. Such a poor, overwhelmed anomaly I am.

With less than a month left of school,  I should be lucky to see my classmates between 7 and 3, much less see them prepared for class. It isn’t like our teachers have eased off on our homework. We have looming exams starting in 29 days. The workload is still unbearable.

But I love having classmates suffering through it with me.

I know at any other program or any other school I would be the only person who still cared about grades. I am amazed by the amount of last minute scrambling I see when surrender is such an easier option. Where have all the normal people gone?

But I don’t really care about them. Every day is an opportunity and I am so grateful I’m not the only one seeking to fulfill all of them.

(: Kim.

Ambition.

“All I want is out there, waiting for me the minute i say I know who I am.” — Biff, Death of a Salesman.

Dreams are important. Our most recent play is all about the necessity of dreams, especially obtainable ones. I would say graduating with an IB Diploma was only a dream when I applied, but my life has grown so much fuller working towards that goal.

I have a dream to amount to more than intended.

My family has a tradition of graduating at least one student per generation to the University of Florida which has lasted for at least 80 years. My generation has been slacking a little; I’m nearly the youngest but the first to attend. My family’s dream for continuity is within reach.

My middle school teachers (some of them at least) wanted to see me grow beyond the limitations of a small school environment and challenge myself academically, spiritually, and socially. My high school experience has done just that, shaping me into the mature young adult I sometimes deny I am.

The end of high school has seen many of my dreams come to fruition. With the next chapter of my life on my doorstep it is time to make new dreams.

It is time to say I know who I am.

(: Kim.

Serenity.

My life has been crazy for four years and I can only hope it gets more chaotic in the foreseeable future. I adore chaos but only the kind that is resolved into peace. Chaos followed by serenity.

I am so grateful for the serenity that follows chaos. I never really went through turmoil before high school. I never tested the waters of suspicion or fell to the traps asymmetry. My life was neat and perfect. Then high school happened.

Perhaps that’s why so many people love their high school years, the first time life comes up, smacks you in the face, and leaves. Sure, the ride is fun, all the parties and irresponsible evenings. But I am inspired by the aftermath: calm, refreshed order.

Too many tragedies in the past four years have transpired. Too many tears and capitulated spirits lay in the path of adolescent life. But every time, for every group or individual, chaos has resolved itself into serenity.

My faith lies with the perpetuation of peace, in spite of chaos. I am grateful for the life experiences I’ve had that give me confidence to face the natural disarray out there.

(: Kim.